I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
