so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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