Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
