I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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