i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
