Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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