I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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