garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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