It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
