I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
