is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
