OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
