It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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