So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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