what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
