I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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