Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
