Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Holy shit dude........stairs
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