I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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