TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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