So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
