people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
wow bdsm is so cute
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