make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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