i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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