i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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