Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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