I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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