sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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