this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
