Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
