saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
