this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
