got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
