He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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