so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
