don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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