Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
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