i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
They have beer where we have blood.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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