i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
