There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
