So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
