How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
