Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I need water and some morals
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
