She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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