High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
