Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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