Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
