Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
