The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
