in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Randomize
