i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
