it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
