I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
