Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
