No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
