Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
